I'm well behind on my blog reading, my poor feed reader is completely overloaded!! I'm hoping to spend some time catching up this weekend as I really do love reading what everyone else has to say.
A quick update today. I've just got back from the GP. My knee is now supposed to be resting for 6 weeks, but unfortunatly that's not going to happen as I've got a couple of training events and matches to play over the coming weeks. Maybe after then! I queried with him that the psych had suggested my medication may not be helping me much, but I've now got to wait 4 months for it to be reviewed. I've spent 7 years medicated and I'm actually quite bored of it now and if it's not helping, please get me off it!!! So my GP reviewed the case file and the psych had sent him a letter. He just scan read it and read out to me...."depressive episode, a-typical bulimia nervosa (query) and borderline personality disorder (query)". That's pretty much set my mind at ease. At least they're in the right ball-park, as far as I'm concerned. The letter ended saying that the psych will discuss at the next meeting and hopes to refer me on to psychobiology interventions.
I know so many people feel that BPD is a real cop-out diagnosis for doctors when they're faced with a "difficult and emotional" woman. But for me, it's the only thing I've found that fits and I'd ruled out everything else first! I know it doesn't always lead to good places in terms of finding a good medication programme and treatment options but I'm hoping that I can keep pushing and come out with something.
What I'd really like is to not have to take any meds, however I fear coming off the Mirtazapine. I've been on it now for around 3 years and it's been the only anti-depressant I've taken that's has to some extent helped me cope on a day-to-day basis whilst not giving me awful side-effects if I forget to take one! It's a big crutch for me and although I barely register that I take it, it's such a part of my routine, I am very conscious that I haven't been un-medicated since I was 18 and I'd quite like to know how I'd work without. Would I be any different? Would I actually be "normal"? Has taking anti-depressants for this long left me believing I need them when I don't? Would I go off the rails and into an awful place? Would that be so bad?
Our Mummy, Marie Molloy: 1957 – 2023
9 months ago
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Why is that you don't want to take any meds if you find the Mirtazapine helps? I have just come off all my anti depressants after being on meds for 5 or 6 years, thinking they didn't help, but now I am off them my CPN and I are both wondering if they perhaps did more than I thought. Meds won't be a miracle cure, but if they help I think it is worth taking them. I am glad you feel like your psych is thinking along the lines though. Is there any chance you could see them again sooner than 4 months?
ReplyDeleteI just seem to take the meds and forget about them but there are times when I question what it would be like without them (actually I've just done it now taking my evening mood stabiliser) but I realise I am so much better on them than off them and I’m lucky that I don’t get side effects as such. Ask if you can bring forward your appointment, four months seems an awfully long time to wait.
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