I find no reason to celebrate the end of one year and the start of another. I also don't like this obligation to go out and have fun and celebrate - don't bloody well tell me when I should be having fun.
I guess I generally find very little to celebrate in the end. Recent years have had little worth remembering and the only thing I wish for in a new year is to get better, become a normal person. All the resolutions in the world will never actually make that happen until I understand what's going on in my head and for that I require input from elsewhere!I can try and improve my existence in various other ways; dieting, losing weight and getting healthy, going to the gym regularly, getting better at the sport I love (Roller Derby), making new friends (mostly through said sport) and trying to keep hold of existing ones by being more social and less mental. But I do all of that already, or at least try to! I don't need to set silly targets and measure my achievements by the start/end of a year. I try and do that every week or month!
Very few people seem to understand this though. My other half certainly doesn't nor do any of his (our) friends; but then life is one giant drinking opportunity so any excuse for a party is fine for them! So tonight I'm going to sit home. And for once it's not because I'm feeling anti-social, anxious, angry, mad or whatever. For once I have a proper reason and I don't feel bad about being here whilst everyone else is out having fun. And that's a good thing, because it means I don't turn my thoughts to self-harm, bulimia, picking or whatever else to relieve the guilt and anxiety I usually feel.
Score One for me and Nil for New Years!
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